Just a little FYI-- so you all know, if you're wondering who a blog post is by, look at the end of the entry. It will say "From the heart of ____" and then it will either say Tam or Jason. We made this blog so we can each post to it. But some of you may be unsure as to who wrote each post, so this is the easy way to figure it out!

... and the two shall become one

In the book of Genesis, God tells Adam that man will leave his father and mother and join together with his wife and become one flesh. If you go to Bible Gateway and look up "become one flesh" there's a good smattering of results from both the old and new testaments. If you're interested you can look here.

This is actually relevant :) This weekend I was talking to a roommate who admitted that she had only just recently come to terms with the fact that just because my relationship doesn't look the way she would want hers to doesn't mean it's inherently wrong. It would be wrong for her, but since my relationship is actually exactly what I want it's perfectly ok to be right for me.

See, my roommate sincerely can't imagine a life in which she doesn't have a separate bank account from her husband, or in which she doesn't do at least a solid chunk of the driving when in the car. I, on the other hand, can't imagine not having the same bank account as my husband or ever being expected to drive (though my beloved has a questionable- at best- driving record).

Basically, she realized that we want very separate things. She doesn't want a relationship in which she blends into her husband and loses her independence and individuality. To her it's a major turn-off to be in a relationship in which she becomes one with her husband, and it made her rather uncomfortable to see me beginning to already have my identity blend with Jason's in such a way that I was melding into one with him. That, to her was extremely unsetttling because it simply isn't something she would ever want. But she finally realized that just because she doesn't want it, I do, and that I'm happy and would never desire what she wants.

This made me wonder- why do I want to have a marriage where I blend into one with my husband in so many ways? I can't imagine a marriage where I would be anything but completely operating as one unit in every applicable way (obviously there are areas where we still have separate lives, like certain friendships and such, but you get the point). Also, once Jas finishes law school and we're ready, I want to be a stay-at-home mom and raise a big family (we plan to adopt at least two, but we want six kids. We already know their names!). The roommate not only doesn't want that, but would most likely hate it and would never marry a man who would want her to stay home.

So, again, why do I want these things? I didn't even know people actually had marriages with separate checking accounts (and a joint house account, but still... to me, marriage is not "my money" and "your money"-- it's "our money". Jas actually once insinuated that soon enough I'll be spending all his money and he quickly learned that you just don't say that to the woman you plan to marry; at least, not if she's Tami Lee Keyser!). I realized that most of my closest friends are like-minded in this aspect, notably my three closest friends from college. But what led me to think this way? Is it my upbringing? My dad always drives, my parents share a checking account... so what is it?

Then I realized that in God's Word he tells a man to leave his mother and father and become one flesh with his wife. This doesn't just mean sexually- obviously the man wasn't sexually one with his mother and father premaritally. It means one heart, one mind, one goal. The same hopes and dreams. Like minded on issues of parenting, finances, ministry, and spiritual matters in general. One. That is, to me, truly the beauty of marriage. Obviously it is a process, to become one with another person after what will have been nearly 26 years of looking after only myself, but the best part is that it's not just two mere humans trying to force themselves into this awkward mess that is the ambiguous "one"-- we will have Jesus Christ knitting us together!

And, speaking of Jesus-- I love Him so much. I am in awe of who He is and all He has done. I'll give an entry on that soon enough! Suffice it to say, I love becoming one with Jason and I love that God has written it on my heart to do so, and that I know it is part of living according to God's Word to do so!

Feel the sunlight on my face...

... You have brought me to this place [You Led Me, BarlowGirl]

This will be short and sweet, but this is Jason's and my song. I would like to share the lyrics with you all; you can buy it on iTunes if you're interested, though, because it's absolutely beautiful! The lyrics are simple but poignant.

Enjoy :)

You Led Me
BarlowGirl, from the album BarlowGirl

Good Morning the night is over and gone

I thought once this dark would last for so long

Feel the sunlight on my face
You have brought me through this place

Jesus, Jesus You found me
Through the long night you led me
You set me free

Do you see just what You’ve done in my life?
You gave me more than I hoped for now I

Feel the sunlight on my face
You have brought me through this place

Jesus, Jesus You found me
Through the long night you led me
You set me free

Good Morning the night is over and gone
I thought once this dark would last for so long

Who Was I to Make You Wait?

Before we get too rowdy on this blog, I suppose it'd be appropriate for the measly third corner of this glorious love triangle to make some sort of an entrance! :)

I'm Jason, a man madly in love with Jesus Christ and a beautiful, amazing woman named Tami. While those things do define me, I'm sad to say there's something else that takes up the vast majority of my time: work. I have two jobs: one cleaning pools (and I'm on the cusp of my insanely busy summer season), the other delivering restaurant food. This currently keeps me away from roughly 6:30am until 10:30pm or later, and it will be this way all summer long. Now I'm overjoyed to be working this hard. It's how I was able to afford the ring my beloved deserves and the 3000-mile trip to hand deliver it to her, and it's primarily how we'll be able to afford our wedding...and while I'll most certainly back off after the wedding (if for no other reason, my lovely wife-to-be demands it), I will continue to hold on to both jobs for the forseeable future to help us obliterate the evil smelly debt gorilla and pay for my law studies starting in Fall 2008.

The point of that mess above? Don't expect frequent posting from me. I really wish it were otherwise, but I'd be a a liar if I promised to post here more than a few times a month. I'm going to try to set aside some time on Sundays to help Tami present our love story to our loved ones (and all those anonymous cyber-interlopers), and I think 2-3 posts a month is a feasible expectation. And trust me: the only blog posts I write are long, laborious works of art, so I venture to believe the reader won't ultimately feel ripped off.

For now, I'd like to offer a song, one that has truly branded itself into my heart and never fails to bring tears to my eyes (and sobs, depending on my level of self control at the moment). I must save the explanation for later, but it's the most relevant musical expression of my love for Christ and Tami that I know of, and only this could make me cry. If you want to hear the song, wish to avoid downloading it, and can't stand the radio, visit my MySpace.

"Far Away" by Nickelback

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

You offer Your uncommon love

[Uncommon Love, Melissa Tawlks]

Ok, you all deserve the "How We Met" story, right? Some of you know it, but I'm digging into my blog archives and doing a few little quick (relevant) edits so you all can get the low-down on the future Mr. Tami TK... :) The edits are mainly time related, or clarifying details, because it was written in mid-January.

It's a little long, so you might break it over a few lunches or something, but... ENJOY!!

***

Our story is simple. I love sports. I don't like Skip Bayless (sportswriter for ESPN) because he knocked on both my Seahawks AND my Ammo (Adam Morrison). One random day in July I decided to write an e-mail to Bill Simmons, ESPN's "Sports Guy", about why Bayless should be fired. But then I realized I wanted to back up the asinine things Bayless had written, so I went to find a little... ammo. I came across a blog in which someone was spouting similar feelings of dislike for ESPN's worst sportswriter. I was impressed with the writing, and then realized through a little blog perusal that this person went to Gonzaga, lived (essentially) in Seattle, and was a Christian. I clicked the link to his MySpace and sent him a message- basically, I pointed out that I loved his hatred of Skip Bayless, and that he seemed like a cool guy.

I was fresh out of my first real relationship, which had ended because the other guy just simply wasn't a nice guy. God used that relationship to teach me SO much about myself, but I simply assumed that I would never be with someone while I lived here in N0rth Car0lina. I figured I'd move home to Washington, though more to the Seattle area, and meet someone there... someday. I had zero interest in a romantic relationship. Once he wrote back, it was pretty clear between us that it would just be a random MySpace acquaintance- I know everyone says this when they're single, but we were seriously both in that place where we simply only wanted to pursue Christ and we just didn't want romance. And I HATE admitting that, because everyone always said, "When you stop looking, that's when you'll meet him"... GRRR! But they were right!

So anyway... we didn't want romance, period. But then... we just replied back and forth, slowly, and eventually chatted a little on IM. After about two weeks we had one really amazing conversation on IM... I was like, "He's a cool guy" afterward, but he tells me that he walked away from that convo knowing, clear as day, that he was already falling in love with me.

Along the way we kept really trying to ensure that we didn't allow our relationship to be anything more than friends, even when we knew deeper feelings were growing between us. Consistently we tightened boundaries, such as how often we could e-mail, both praying more and more diligently that we would stay in God's boundaries for us. We didn't even talk on the phone until about 3 months after we had met. We wanted to be uber careful and not cross any boundaries- we wanted to honor the other person the way we hoped someone would honor our future spouse, and treat one another with integrity in Christ. Then we realized that those lines were self-imposed, and not of God. We accepted that we were in some level of a relationship in November, and since then it grew deeper and deeper. In early January we said, "I love you". Or maybe mid-December... I'm sure he knows!! But by January it had become crystal clear to both of us that we are meant for one another, and that we're meant to marry.

I love him. I love that he wants to close our phone conversations in prayer, and often just randomly says, "Can we pray?" in the middle of one. I love that we are in complete harmony on things like doctrine, finances, life goals, health, etc. I love that he tells me daily about his quiet time and how God is speaking to him. I love that he consistently steps up as spiritual leader, though in some ways his nature would be to step back, and that he already is both able to tell me no and doesn't allow me to manipulate him. I love that I don't want to manipulate him! That I want to trust him and respect him and allow him to lead, all the while encouraging and exhorting him to be the man God made him to be. I love that he sees me as a precious treasure, and that he wants to spoil me and take care of me and protect me and respect me and that he feels like he will simply not be complete until he has made me his wife. *sigh* I am so blessed!

I could gush for years, but it boils down to this: I will marry this man, this wonderful man named Jason. We both know it's true, and any time we have a shred of doubt God confirms all the more that this is of Him. It's the most wonderful experience of my entire life! I feel ready to burst in every direction all at once! And yet I have a deep, calm peace to the center of my soul that Jason is the man I will spend the rest of my life loving and serving. I am honored to call him my own. I am honored to be his.

Enough of my gushing; here's something he said:

Tami...I don't know what it is about today that has taken my feelings for you to a level I never dreamed it would go. A week ago I was ready to marry you. Now I literally feel incomplete for not having done so already. What we have now is amazing, don't get me wrong. I bask in the glow of all our relationship has taught me, inspired me, shaped me, and enriched me. I live as a man happier than he's ever been and dream of the future like never before. But every moment I'm awake, my dear, especially when I ruminate on those dazzling eyes gazing at me, pouring your love past my physical shell directly into my heart, I feel a longing like never before. A feeling deep in my chest that ebbs and flows, but never dies. A pain not sharp, not stinging, but dull and lingering. Deep down I know that no matter how amazing of a man He may have made me to be, it is nothing without you. Without you I'd flail around this world, fecklessly in search of a love about which I know nothing, hurting myself and others along the way. Without you I'd never reach the center of His will, and my vain attempts to try would drive me to a misery so dark I shudder at its brief appearance in my thoughts. You are inseparable from His will for me. We were meant for one another. Our relationship isn't merely approved by Him, but ordained. I could not truly be a man after His heart apart from you.

***

So... comment at will :) You don't have to be a blogger member to comment, PS!

Take my hand now, we'll run forever...

... I'll stay with you [Stay With You, Goo Goo Dolls]

This blog is dedicated to the relationship of Jason and Tami :) We got engaged a week and a half ago! Here's the story from Tami's POV...

I knew Jas would be waiting for me when I got home but I wasn't sure where he'd be or how things would happen. I knew also that Jas wanted to propose almost the minute he saw me, so I was full of anticipation!

I got home, and called out for him... nothing. So I checked quickly upstairs, but nothing. I went downstairs to my room and found that he had placed some gifts on my bed (two DVD's- The Pursuit of Happyness and Stranger than Fiction, a baseball he caught at a Mariner's game, some cream for rubbing my feet, and... a CD of Weird Al Yankovic songs. Yup, true story.) But there was no Jason in my room. I looked in the closet, behind the door, in the shower in the bathroom, all throughout the basement, in the downstairs garage, and then outside... but then I realized that if he was outside on the deck and I saw him from down below that would ruin his mojo, so I went upstairs, looked outside on the deck, saw no Jason, and started to get annoyed! I looked EVERYWHERE. Ev. Ree. WHERE. Argh!

After some frustration and ten minutes of scouring my house, I finally went back to my room to see if somehow Jas had squeezed into a cabinet. And... alas, there he was, sitting in my desk chair! We embraced, and just enjoyed finally being in one another's presence after so many months apart (we last saw each other in January). After a while, Jason started telling me about how blessed he is to have been blessed by God in this amazing love story that the Lord has written.

The things he said were beautiful and wonderful and melted my heart... too bad I remember so few of them! It was so good that I started to wonder if he had written it and then memorized it-and just as that occurred to me he said, "I was going to write this down, but then I realized that I'm best with you when things just flow naturally, so this is coming straight from my heart." Well, those weren't the exact words, but that was certainly pretty close to what he said!

Then he said, "You got some presents from me already, but I brought you something else." Then he turned and got the ring box, got on one knee and... said really wonderful things about Christ being the center of our relationship, me being far beyond the woman of his dreams, and how he's been so blessed to have been a part of God writing our love story to this point, and he asked me to join him in allowing God to write our love story for the rest of our lives. Then he said something along the lines of if I'd grant him the immeasurable joy of becoming his wife (I might be making that up! I need him to help me out there!) and opened the ring box... I just stared at him and nodded my head.

I then of course, "Yes! I mean, I need to say it out loud! Yes, Jason, I'll marry you!". It was grand. And he of course laughed because all I could seem to do was nod my head and not give an actual answer :) It was so sweet and wonderful and... I love him! I can't wait to marry him!

So that's the engagement story. Later I'll tell you more about the rest of our week together, and for those uninformed, sooner or later there will be the "how we met and the rest of our story". But, for now, here's a link to see pictures of our week together!

Spring Break '07-- Jas and Tami!!