Our New Church Home

Hello all! It's Jason posting, at long last. Albeit, I do so only to announce official news that Tami and I have decided to become members of Mars Hill Church, and as such leave Crosspointe. For the sake of not typing out a detailed explanation twice, what follows is a message we sent to friends and family explaining our decision.
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Beloved Friends,

After a grueling and heartbreaking process of soul-searching, prayer, and God's clear call being communicated to us, we have decided to leave Crosspointe Church and to join Mars Hill Church in Seattle. While we don't subscribe to the notion that you can never be called away from a church, we want to make it clear that the reason for our departure can be found in the stated and well-practiced mission of Mars Hill, rather than in any particular fault Crosspointe Church may have.

Tami and I are both first-generation Christians. What weighs on our hearts the most as a married couple is our responsibility to raise children in the warmth of God's grace and love, something we unfortunately never knew in our childhoods. When we reflect on the picture of Christ our lives will project to our children one day, as well as on our family members and friends who don't know Christ, we simply cannot settle for anything less than the fullness of what God has for us. As such, we are very happy to have found Mars Hill Church to be a place where the Bible is taught in a real, raw, and sometimes even brutal fashion - even more importantly, in a way that changes lives.

Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill is not only a dynamic (and hilarious!) Bible teacher, but a humble servant of Christ who is very specifically open about his own struggles with sin and how much he has grown during the process of founding a church that now finds itself being among the most influential in the country. And most importantly, he pulls no punches on the pulpit. "I speak hard words to produce soft people; soft words produce hard people" is something you can often catch Mark saying, and it's refreshing, although not always comfortable. Mars Hill is a place that puts a premium not on comfort, but on sound doctrine and solid bible teaching and pairs it with practicing community with fellow Christians in a way that values accountable, iron-sharpens-iron relationships. We are at such a fragile state in our spiritual lives, being a newlywed couple, and we cannot help but be drawn to an environment where Jesus can truly empty us of all that hinders and fill us with the Spirit more abundantly than we've previously experienced.

Specifically, Mars Hill is a place that concerns itself with the vitality of marriages, and focuses on a biblical, complementarian view of gender roles in marriage. Under this new teaching, I will be challenged to love my wonderful wife as Christ loves the church, and Tami will be challenged to respect me and encourage me to lead our family as a godly man. We simply cannot resist God's call towards a church body that will dare us to reach for His best in our marriage.

We are also irresistibly drawn to the missional aspect of Mars Hill Church. It is truly a miracle that this church has been so successful in a place like Seattle, bringing to Christ people most would write off as unreachable. Seattle is a place that's just as Godless as communist China, yet nobody ever speaks of taking a mission trip to Pioneer Square! We are happy to have found a church that makes outreach inextricably linked with its church structure and never seeks to serve itself first.

It must be said that our ties to the youth ministry at Crosspointe is what made our decision so difficult. We love every last one of the students we've been privileged to serve, and it breaks our hearts to know that God has called us away from such a great group of people. We have really enjoyed getting to know all the students and staff, and while we cherish every moment we've had to both challenge others and to be challenged in the race we run for Jesus, it grieves us to be called away after such a short time.

Furthermore, we love Crosspointe Church! We love Pastor Rick, and it was an honor to have him officiate our marriage. And through Crosspointe we've come to know several wonderful people that we will truly miss. Know that we didn't take this lightly, and know that we tried as hard as we could to attain peace while staying at Crosspointe and ignoring God's pull on our hearts. Yet, even though it's been heartbreaking, we do have the peace from God we'd been looking for after deciding to join Mars Hill.

As we will keep Crosspointe and you all as individuals in our prayers, we would ask for your prayers as well. And we would encourage you all to believe in Crosspointe with all your hearts as He moves you to. Just because we found certain things lacking doesn't mean they don't exist or couldn't exist. It all starts with your relationship with Christ and how you relate to each other. Tami and I are learning to be the church we wish to see, and we would encourage you all to do the same.

We love you all and thank you for allowing us to be part of your lives.

In Christ,

Jason and Tami

Ok, Lord... this is clearly a LOOOOOONG test You have for us...

Our car was broken into again. Not. Even. Kidding.

I went to find my ice scraper (which has been stolen, I realized... big surprise) to use on Jason's truck and it wasn't there. The door was unlocked, and at first I was like, "I am such a tool for leaving my car unlocked! Except... I know I didn't leave it unlocked. I was so careful to keep it locked!" Then I realized the trunk was open, and I couldn't even believe it.


Technically it wasn't "broken" into, per se, because they used a shaved key again. But I am just so fed up-- why would you do that? Who breaks into people's cars? It's likely the same freaking person, and there is a strong possibility that they live in our apartment complex. Jas says they may likely be meth addicts, since they were clearly looking for something of value to take and took nothing upon finding nothing. Oh, and the lovely jerks left it in the accessories on position, which is probably just great for our brand new battery, which was replaced because last time the jerks did this they trashed the previous battery. I am just so annoyed!

To add insult to injury, we parked the car in our covered spot, literally 30 feet from our bedroom, where it's brightly lit. What audacity and nerve! I want to punch the thief in the mouth. Or, as my gracious husband put it (be prepared for some color here), attach the jumper cables to the thief's balls and start the car. I'm not sure that's what Jesus would do. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's NOT what Jesus would do :)

So... to make our lives wonderful, the car is sicker than ever. Now, we can't start it. The ignition is locked up. Jas tried to start it, but to no avail. The ignition won't move. Ugh.

So we removed the battery and put it in a locked outdoor closet at our apartment. In addition, we printed these verses from Matthew 6 (NASB) and taped them onto the steering wheel:

19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.

20"But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;

21for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

I'm not sure whether those verses are meant more for the next potential break-in of the thief, or for us.

Yup. Secretive.

So, super big stuff is happening in our life.

We just can't write about it yet. But it's coming, trust us.

And no, we are NOT pregnant.

:)

I started a fun new themed blog- it's a place to send me highlights and lowlights, and then I'll post them. For the details on how it works, click this link. Follow the directions and send me yours! Maybe this will get super awesome!

Otherwise, go bookmark the blog:

highlightlowlight.blogspot.com

I promise to try and update daily. Again- send me fun stuff!! This could be so cool :)

Just for Bekah :)

Bekah tagged me because I rarely blog (I've slacked! I have to get better about it!) so I am doing this for her :)

You're supposed to tag people and stuff but I'm not gonna.

So here are some random things about me…

1. I've been married for 10 weeks and one day. It feels like a lifetime, in a good way.

2. I don't like the sun. No, seriously, I burn crazy fast even with 50 SPF every half hour, and I don't like being hot. Plus, I have a mild allergy to the sun so when I burn I get really sick. I get way more colds in the summer than the winter because the sun zaps my immune system. Ergo, no me gusta el sol. Or whatever.

3. My husband Jason and I have listened to almost 25 Mark Driscoll sermons in about five days. Not kidding. It's turning our lives inside out in the best way possible!

4. I have a rule that I can't turn on the TV until 8 pm each night. I DVR things throughout the week, and then I can only watch what I DVR'd between 8 and 10:30 or so; if I can't fit it all in then a show has to go. This way I get things done and have solid spiritual time in reading and study (in addition to my quiet time each morning). I don't have this down yet, but I'm working on it because I yearn for more discipline in my life so that I can become more deeply identified with Jesus Christ.

5. Jason and I are going to sit down and make a budget today. I'm actually really excited about it. We want to be better stewards of the financial blessings the Lord gives us, so that He can use us to bless others and stop living without boundaries and discipline.

6. We just began discussing / praying about finding a smaller and less expensive apartment when our lease is up so as to not live beyond our means and pay off debt more quickly

7. Jason is taking the LSAT in 13 days. I think he'll do an amazing job :)

8. I miss teaching. I knew I would, but I really miss it. Not sure what the Lord has planned there :)

9. We had to buy Drano Friday night because I shed in the shower and my hair was clogging up our drain.

10. Maybe this is too personal, but everyone who knows me at all knows I am an open book- Jason and I practice the natural birth control method. It's working so far, and we are pretty careful. We believe children are a blessing, so we want to trust God for His timing with having a child, but at the same time we feel it would be irresponsible to have a baby before we have our "stupid debt" (aka non-student loans debt) paid off.

No tagging :) But if you wanna do this, too, you should!

Oh, the joy of carpooling with your husband...

Jason: [Mark Driscoll] would be fired from pretty much any other church... the conservatives wouldn't like him because he wears jeans and rocks out, and the liberals would hate him because he'd say, "No, you can't be GAY!"

Awesome.

Quote of the Night

My leg hair is getting so long that when I walk* I can feel it waving in the breeze.

-Tami, to Jason



*Without pants. We all know that Tami hates to wear pants. She only wears them when she has to. At home alone with her husband--- NO PANTS! Just lots of leg hair. It's that whole no shaving from October to April thing. ;)

Blessed be the name of the Lord

[Blessed be Your Name, Tree 63]

I know we haven't updated in FOREVER. We've been super busy, lame as the excuse may be. Last weekend we went with the youth on a retreat with the senior high youth group from our church and it was AWESOME. Seriously- it gets no greater. It was fun, relaxing, and focused. Every leader that led a talk was awesome, the kids responded, and God worked. Lives are changing as a result and we were so blessed to be there.

In other news, the Lord is seriously stretching us. We are trying to get ourselves disciplined in a lot of areas, but particularly in the financial department. God seems to think that the best way to do this is to keep bringing very expensive car problems our way... oy! The Acura has been very sick since July. We got to the point where Jason's truck has been all we had, so he carted me to work and back every day.

Then his truck starting making sounds like a VERY angry squirrel was inside... which slowly increased to ALL THE TIME. Meanwhile, having spent nearly $1,000 in the midst of me being unemployed and us getting married, the Acura had to just hang out in our apartment parking lot for a bit while we tried to get our bearings straight so we could figure out why it still wasn't running right after getting the entire engine head rebuilt. Some lovely person with a shaved key decided that the Acura should be theirs for awhile, so they took it. Too bad it was barely running!

So, we got our hopes up about getting a decent sized check from the insurance company to go get a different car and start over with one that at least ran well. The Lord had different plans and gave the car back running worse, but not in such a way that we could prove it was because of the thief. So we got a new battery and will get a new ashtray out of the deal (the thief left the key in that half-on position where your car isn't on but the radio and lights and stuff work, which TRASHED the battery over two weeks, and then they stole the ashtray because there were like four $1 bills and some change in it) but were saddled with the price of the inspection to find out if the problems were because of the theft (doesn't that just seem unfair?). The good news is that it was as simple as replacing the spark plugs- they became carbonized when the exhaust valves in the engine head were bent (this all started because of a stupid broken timing belt). The bad news it was $400, and the check engine and oil lights stay on all the time, plus now and then it dies if you are going over 40 mph and then go to stop in any sort of a quick motion.

So... then Jason's truck kept getting worse and worse. So the bad news is that we have to spend $500 to fix it. The good news is that it's normally $700 but we have connections to the shop through Jason's work. The other praise is that he can still do his pool job- he's just borrowing a different truck from his boss. Too bad it's a 20 year old, full-sized BEAST of a Chevy truck!

The moral of the story is that we are so stretched, spending loads of money on generally mediocre vehicles. Last week, I really felt sorry for myself. Everyone here (the metropolis within 30 minutes of downtown Seattle) seems to be driving a nice, new car. My favorite cars are Acuras, Hondas, and Toyotas, in that order. The lady in the parking space next to us at our apartment, who doesn't work, has an '05 Camry. Someone just got an '08 Civic and parks right in front of our door every day. Every fifth car is an Acura TSX (my dream car). I want to feel sorry for myself because I'm 26 years old, we work 2.75 full-time jobs making decent wages between us, and we can barely afford to fix the crappy cars we have!

Then, God grabbed my heart this weekend. We were singing the song "Blessed be Your Name" and the reality of someone in truly dire circumstances being able to sing, "Blessed be Your name, on the road marked with suffering, though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name", just broke my heart. I am not suffering. We are being stretched, but not suffering. I long to bless the Lord's name in all circumstances! He is stretching us financially because He wants us to depend on Him, live by a strict budget, and get to a place of financial freedom where He pours out financial blessings on others, particularly our close group of friends all called to lifetime missions work, because He holds our purse-strings and we give sacrificially. We aren't there yet, and abundance sure wouldn't break us of our "us" focused spending habits.

Today, by no mistake, I read the first two chapters of Job, in which everything is stripped from him, and still Job praises God's name, essentially saying that he will rejoice whether the Lord chooses to give or to take away. I pray I would identify with a faith that deep and refuse to feel sorry for myself, rather to praise God for providing a car and means of fixing it!

You give and take away,
You give and take away.
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name.

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name, Jesus.
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name.

Duran Duran is still cool.

So... it's been 87 years. We apologize for that. This will be very short, too, so sorry for robbing y'all. Here goes:

*Tami got a job! Yay! She works in the corporate offices of an international spa manufacturer. She has her own ofice. Good times.


*Jason is studying for law school and still working two jobs. It's insane!

*We're both getting heavily involved at church, which keeps us quite busy. We have AWESOME youth, though, so it's pretty great! We are excited about an upcoming youth retreat in two weeks.

*We are having a wedding reception in Spokane this weekend- yay! It's going to be so fun just to see the wonderful people from Tami's church from her college years. It will be a sweet homecoming.

*The lovely but sick Acura was finally on the brink of drivability (yah, not a word. Bite me.) until... we got up Sunday morning to go to church and it was gone. Tragically, Goldie is missing. If you see her, let us know. Thankfully, Tami is a genius and had comprehensive insurance. The best $9 a month she ever spent, I tell you! So now we have a 2007 Corolla to drive for three weeks, unless the Acura shows up. If it's totalled, we get a check. If it's not totalled we just pay a hundred bucks and get her fixed up.

So... I (Tami... I know I have switched around in my person status... first, third, meh) have it figured out. My car was great for two years in Carolina. Thus, I am not generically car cursed. I am merely car cursed in WASHINGTON.

The good news is we have total peace and trust that God's will is for our best and we seek to honor Him and endure through whatever trials come our way, for we know that the testing of our faith develops perseverance.

We love you all and will continually try to do better at this updating business!

PS Tami is 26 as of October 16th! Nuts! Old woman!

PPS Go Red Sox! And Patriots! And yay that the Seahawks weren't horrible this week! :)

I see it in your eyes, I see it in your eyes

[Wires, Athlete]

Just a short and sweetie :)

It's almost October! It's my absolute favorite month ever. I love the way the air is changing, with that crispy crunch that sneaks into my lungs when I breathe in. The daylight is a little shorter, thus lengthening hours conducive to snuggling with my man.

In other news, yes, my big 2-6 is quickly approaching. I'm excited. I think wonderful things will happen during my year on this earth marked by twenty-six notches. I like even numbers better than odd numbers, which makes 26 far superior to 25 (no offense, 25- I know we have 19 days left together).

October 16 seriously is a great day. I like the roundness in it- October has a lot of rounded letters, and then the 6 just really polishes everything off. Plus, my birthday seriously turns up a LOT in books and movies and such. Example: just in the last 2 days Becca wrote me to tell me that Sweeney Todd's (fictional character, soon to be immortalized onscreen by the incomparable Johnny Depp) birthday is October 16, and then I was reading my current novel of choice, Farenheit 451, and it references October 16 as the day some heretical man was burned at the stake in I think 1555.

So... my birthday commemorates the birth of a serial killer and the death of a man burned at the stake.

I told you it was a great day.

When you figure out that love is all that matters after all...

... it sure makes everything else seem so small [So Small, Carrie Underwood]

This entry is mature. Not dirty or inappropriate, but mature, so be forewarned and decide for yourself whether to proceed.

Tonight seemed normal enough- Jason and I snuggled into bed, and we read our respective novels. He just finished the last Harry Potter, and started 1984, which just so happens to be the novel I finished last week. Tonight I was in the last third of Francine Rivers' The Scarlet Thread. He went to sleep before me, because true to Francine's normal form I couldn't put the book down.

After a dozen or so rounds of the "ok, seriously, this is the LAST chapter" game that I oft play when reading at night, I stopped in the middle of a paragraph and just gazed at my sleeping husband. I was overcome with... well, true as it may be, it feels insignificant to call it this... a rush of emotion. Drinking in his dark features on smooth skin, the lay of his lashes, the strength in his forehead, the curve in his lips, overwhelmed me for a moment. I was overwhelmed with how selfish and closed off to him I can be when his sole desire is for all of me. He has visions of romantic showers, for example, and tonight was the Tami-sighing-impatiently-because-Jason-is-in-her-space show. Not my finest moments.

But stretched out next to him, feeling the warmth of his body next to mine and knowing that I'll never sleep the same way again without him next to me, all I could think about was how wonderful my life is because he is woven into every part of it. I turned off my lamp and intended to simply rest my head on his chest and sleep, but I found my fingers tracing his every curve, as if memorizing his shape. I love the way his muscles feel under the flesh of his arms, the way they are so strong and sure even in a resting state. I love the smoothness of his skin- softer than I excepted in a man. I love listening to his heart beat and the sharpness in that glorious bone on his hips.

In my mental husband body map-making, I found him stirring awake and myself crying. I see the vision of the wife I want to be- soft, vulnerable and open, strength defined by humility- and for fleeting moments I think I'm beginning to become her in some deep place. That quickly brings on anguish for the... less wonderful moments that having such an independent personality as my own can bring. As he awoke more and more my tears caught him off guard- I cry at commercials but almost never at my own circumstances- and in a glorious wave of beauty we ended up making the most beautiful love of our married life to date.

It occurred to me afterward that for the first time I really contemplated the beauty in the physical manifestation of two becoming one, woman bringing a man's most sensitive organ into her most intimate place. It wasn't about raw passion and sensual pleasure, but about the symbolism of letting him in. A friend once told me that in her marriage it can be difficult at times to climax not because of the quality of the act, but because of the vulnerability required of the woman to let her husband have access to all of her in those moments- physically, yes, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I never thought I would relate to that, but now I do. It's one thing to just give over to sheer physical pleasure, but another to actually allow a flower bedecked with petals composed of all parts of yourself to bloom under his leading.

We've only been married for two and a half weeks, but the Lord is quickly putting our faith to the test. As previously mentioned, we're studying James, and I love the way the NLT Bible puts these verses:

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. James 1:2&3

Despite being careful with our budget... well, ok, our "budget" is currently to only buy what is absolutely necessary... and my consistent searching for and pursuing of a job, we're in a tough spot financially. My car broke down nearly two months ago, so we have poured nearly a thousand dollars into it, and now it runs worse than when we took it to the shop- so poorly, in fact, that while we could drive it before now we can't do anything until there's money to fix it. At nearly $200 for the diagnostic tests, $70 an hour for labor, and then parts, that makes it tough. Even if I had a full-time job it's a costly fix. The principal where I interviewed two weeks ago told me she absolutely loved me and was utterly impressed with me- but she offered the job to a man with "just a little more experience" than me. That has been the situation, but then this morning the starter went out on Jason's truck. We've been feeling the heat, and it feels like it just keeps getting turned up!

There is hope of a half-time teaching position with a local high school, with additional opportunities in the school via subbing, but that's not a guarantee even with the aforementioned principal saying she was sending my name over for that job. The guy with my car finally brought it back tonight and gave Jason advice on how to get to his starter (long story, but after many hours in the cold and grease stains on his arms that didn't scrub off in the shower, he couldn't get to the top bolt because the drive shaft is in the way). There are opportunities and there is always hope, but it's hard to keep our heads up when bills are due next week and we face having to ask for help, which both of us despise having to do.

In all of this, however, our spiritual life is flourishing. We are getting plugged into a young marrieds group through our church and we have been blessed to find that the people there truly want to love Jesus and not just have a social network; we're seeing the Lord really work in our church and we are getting more deeply involved in ministry there, primarily in the youth ministry where God is clearly leading us to join with the youth minister and to work on a team of people where our individual talents are really utilized and we impact this community for Christ.

I can also write with bold humility (not an oxy moron) that we have been faithful to tithe and even give offerings beyond tithing even when human wisdom would say to use that money on our bills. Yet we have full confidence in our Lord that it's His money, not ours, and that He does not ask for sacrifice so much as obedience, and He will pour out His blessing on those who bring the tithe into His storehouse (local church body). This doesn't mean that tomorrow a $100,000 check will land in our mailbox and pay off all debt and give us a healthy savings account, or even that any money will come our way. We yearn for spiritual blessings- deeper faith, opportunities to share of how the Lord is moving- far more than just money, because money is the easy answer but not necessarily the best answer.

I love this Carrie Underwood song, because it would be easy to get our eyes on these trials, and to think they matter so much more than they do. We want to learn from them, to continue to trust God as He turns up the heat as we question if we're really ready for the oven, and to come out with the dross burned off so that we more purely represent the image of Jesus Christ when inspected. But with all of this, I think of my husband, and our love, and I know that though these trials can at times lead to sour dispositions, they really are trivial compared to what live would be like without him in it.

It's so easy to get lost inside
A problem that seems so big at the time
It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole
While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change
And worrying about all the wrong things
Time's flying by, moving so fast
You better make it count cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing
Is just a grain of sand
And what you've been out there searching for forever
Is in your hands
Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all
It sure makes everything else seem
So small

You know something else I love about Jason? We have a king sized bed, yet he always sleeps on my side, and almost every morning asks me if he stayed close and didn't roll away during the night. Those are the kinds of things that I'll remember in 20 years, not what our financial situation was at the time.

I got up to write this because I couldn't sleep- the words kept tumbling around in my mind; the clanking of them colliding into one another kept sleep at bay. But now, it's written, and I long to snuggle back into my wonderful husband's slumbering and warm body.

This is the last night you'll spend alone

[The Last Night, Skillet]

Life is so great right now! We love being married. We're discovering simply how good and hard married life can be. You never realize how selfish you are until you are married and really need to put the other person above yourself consistently. But we love one another deeply and I have so much respect for him as such an amazing man.

He went to an open house at the law school he is hoping to attend, but I'll let him write about that later.

One last little tidbit is that we went to our first Young Marrieds Bible Study last night and it was awesome. It was such a blessing to be surrounded by people our age who love the Lord and are at a similar place in life. We are so blessed by what God is doing in us right now. I need a job, and we need me to have reliable transportation, but we're embracing it as a chance to see God, to find His will, to ask for and receive His wisdom, to testify of His work in our lives to the world around us, and most of all, to grow deeper in our relationship with Him. It's a trial, and it's trying at times, but we rejoice in the opportunity for our endurance to grow.

Most wonderful of all is that the Bible study is in the book of James. Go give the first 7 or so verses of chapter one a look and you'll see how beautifully it fits into our lives right now :)

It's been awhile...

Ok, so it's been like 85 years since we updated. Or two and half weeks. Whatever :)

The wedding was beautiful and perfect. The best part was just having so many people who mean so much to us all in the same place at the same time. It was just the biggest blessing to see people every phase of our lives all together, getting to know each other and finding that they have more in common than just mutual acquaintance with the two of us.

The honeymoon was also perfect- we stayed at a super nice room in Bellevue the first night, and since it was our wedding night they upgraded us for free to a room WAAAAAAY nicer than anything we would ever pay for! Then we went to Ocean Shores, and I remembered just how much I love the Pacific Ocean. It has a majesty about it that I can't explain, a quiet power that I am in awe of. One cool thing about the beach there, though, is that in the non-peak season you can drive right on the beach. That was awesome, since it was kind of too cold for walking on the beach. So we slowly drove and just enjoyed the sand and surf.

One note is that a very crafty little matron of honor wrote "Honk 4 Sex" on the two rear windows of our rental car, so Saturday night we kept getting honked at and just assumed people were randomly congratulating us on our nuptials. This message, however, was REALLY embarrassing for Jason when he dropped me off at my job interview Monday afternoon- at a high school, right at the front entrance, and just as school was getting out, so EVERYONE saw it. He was a bit mortified, to say the least. He was really annoyed when I asked why he didn't just roll those windows down, but the adorable man was so perturbed at the situation that he just decided to speedily go park way out of the vicinity of the kids. :)

So beyond that, we're just settling in. I'm still trying to get a job, and we're trusting God through an extremely frustrating broken car situation. We're getting involved with the high schoolers at church and just seeking to live a life of purpose as two-becoming-one and no longer as mere individuals.

So... enjoy a couple of honeymoon pics- wedding pics will come but we haven't seen them yet either, so be patient!

Note: the mark on his neck is not a burn ;)

So you might be a rock star if...

So some new clothes that I ordered online (for nearly 70% off-- BOO YAH! Though Jason says that they're just grossly marked up so a 70% sale means you're really just getting prices for closer to what the store payed for them... bluh-blah-blah-BLAH) arrived today.

I went a little out of my comfort zone and ordered a few items that aren't quite in my normal array of clothing choices.

Jas walked into the apartment, saw me walk out of the bathroom where I had been examining myself in the mirror, and literally RAN over to me, while letting out yips of glee, in order to hug me and tell me how incredible I looked.

So... yeah. Looks like I have a good excuse to be doing some more shopping.

:)

One week and one day...

Soon and very soon...

The big day is barely over a week away.

Oy.

Between items getting shipped to the wrong place, me realizing that there are 90 million little details that have to be written to a T, and job hunting (plus Jason pulling in 90 hour work weeks to fund the wedding while I am between jobs)... things are CRAZY.

So, the twenty second update:

Tomorrow I am interviewing with a local nanny agency and to do contract (1 year long) work with the world's largest software company. In addition, I'm applying to teach high school social studies (a local job sort of fell onto my lap, which is the only way I said I would consider teaching). There are options, and who knows if God's best is for any one of them to work out.

We're both looking to get involved with the Youth Group at Church, and our first young marrieds event is this Sunday-- BaconFest 3. Jason just about passed out when he found out that we get to be judges, lol.

So that's that! I need to get back to work now, though, so I hope you all are well! Please say hi and let us know how you are doing!

I really need you in my life

[Wait For You, Elliot Yamin]

Ok, my dear man Jason just never has time to update. Ergo, I shall on his behalf.

So, last week, he went to work, and a man stopped him and said, "Hey, you were on TV this morning" (or something to that effect). Long story short, the guy was watching 1st... and 10 on ESPN, which just so happens to be our much loathed Skip Bayless' show.

We, primarily in jest, sent wedding invites to Bill Simmons, Adam Morrison, and Skip Bayless (though Jas holds out hope they'll actually come!). Additionally, we sent an invite for all at Jason's work, so they put it up on a bulletin board that everyone sees. The guy watching the ESPN show heard Bayless saying something about not going to some wedding, and suddenly realized that he recognized the invitation Bayless was holding as the same one on the bulletin board at work! So... Jas and I were sort of on TV :)

Then, it gets better-- yesterday I received a few more RSVP's for the wedding, and one was postmarked from New York, NY. We invited people I know from Rochester, NY (yeah, that yo' mom and pop, Bec!) so Jas just sort of assumed it was from them. Instead, it was totally from Skip! Yeah, that's right, we're on a first name basis now. Granted, I still think he's a terrible sportscaster! But first name basis stands. ;)

There was some bullocks about also being a Christian and believing his duty was to tell the truth, which was why he knocked on the 'Hawks and Ammo-- yeah, I went there-- BULLOCKS!, but it was pretty decent of him to respond.

Since this has a sports theme, may I also just say that I LOVE THEM? I finally watched the ESPY's that I recorded over a month ago (that would be the sports awards done by ESPN, for you non-rock stars who don't know). Sports are just so moving. They go beyond conflict, beyond race and gender and grudges and hate, rising above and uniting people in that moment when the touchdown is scored, the home run is hit, the three pointer knocked down, the puck or futbol hits the net.

In a world where religion and skin color sets one person against another at birth due to deeply rooted prejudices, it's incredible that regardless of race, nation, or creed we can feel that burst of triumph when David- Boise State- takes down Goliath- Oklahoma- in the Fiesta Bowl. We smile and nod when Peyton finally gets his ring. A tear smarts our eye when the Saints take the field for the first time in the Superdome and it's about so much more than just a football game. They gave that stadium- and a city, a region, a country, even the world- hope that ruins can rise up in triumph.

Jesus Christ is the ultimate hope. But how beautiful it is when a simple game defies adversity and unites those who normally would never even meet eyes if passing by on the street-- or even those who intentionally never end up on the same street.

I love sports.

We have some bias of our own-- Go Mariners! Go Seahawks! And we still have a special place in our hearts for the Patriots and Red Sox :)

In the arms of Your mercy I find rest

[East to West, Casting Crowns]

SO much has been happening... I know I've done a terrible job of updating! We've really been that busy. Just thing after thing after thing to be done... ugh! But it's good, and it's for such a wonderful purpose- we're en route to becoming man and wife!

I feel like there must be really wonderful, insightful, meaningful things to say... but, if there are, they seem to have escaped me :) So, suffice it to say that I LOVE this new song (the one referenced in the title) because I so often relate to it's message- the feeling of being just one more mistake away from belonging to Christ at all. But instead, I am reminded that Jesus removes my sin as far as the east is from the west- they never meet. I am not defined by my sin. Such a needed reminder.

In other news... Jason has a very exciting story to tell. I think it's puh-retty stinking awesome, too, but I'll wait for him to be able to tell it because I think he'll just really love that :)

Other than that, life is wonderful, I love every second of planning the day that will end with me becoming the wife of my favorite man in the world, and I am increasingly blessed day by day to grow more intimate with Christ. I won't pretend there aren't trying moments, but overall I simply have a wonderful life.

Praise be to God :) I'll try to promise another update by next Thursday! No more slacking! Boooooo!

Sports Love!

I. LOVE. THE. SEATTLE. MARINERS.

We either watch or listen to every game because we rock.

In other news, the invitations are stuff and sealed. They just need addresses on them, which I am writing by hand and my hand writing sorta sucks (as many of you saw on your Save the Dates!) so that's gonna be fun.

This is Tami, by the way. Or Tam. Or Tamalam. Or Tam* (Clintonius Maximus has sole legal rights to that one, sorry). Or Tamikins. Or Thegreatestwomantoeverwalktheearth. Or Tami HiI'mawesome. Or Timtam (once again, Liz has sole legal rights to that one. Long story about Australia, a Christmas package, Matt, delicious chocolate cookies- called Timtams nonetheless- and choking on cookies soggy with hot chocolate because, apparently, in Australia they think Timtams make good straws). Or Rock Star. Or baby (Jason's got that one). Or Cami if you just met me and have hearing problems.

Uh, regardless of all. Of. That. Jason loves the Mariner's, too, so it wouldn't really matter who wrote this!!

We love the M's. We're going to see them play Oakland Thursday night and are serious about at least getting a 16 game pack for next season. Feel free to get us season tickets as THE BEST WEDDING PRESENT EVER! Seriously, that would mean more than a car, or a pimped out home theatre!

Ok, enough rambling. I just am being lazy about typing people into the address book for RSVP'ing to the wedding. I must get back to work!

Go MARINERS!!!

In their honor, here's some photo love:


PS Notice the lovely Seattle skyline in the background
PPS Notice the AWSOME Qwest Field back there, too! You'll hear loads about the Seahawks in probably about a month :)

Wedding Website!

The official wedding website is up and running!

Click here to check it out

And... still busy!

Hello all! Sorry to say that we're still ridiculously busy. Jason's still pulling 90 hour workweeks and I recently started working at the local water district doing office work. The invitations came Thursday so this weekend's agenda is full.

I need to assemble the invitations, make the little extra insert (with info like where we're registered, the website address, etc), and get the website completely finito. Lots o' work!

So... that said... I have to keep on keepin' on!

I hope you're all having a glorious summer-- love ya!

Your praise becomes my song

[Filled With Your Glory, Starfield]

BUSY! Ahhh! Ergo, bullet points :)

• Starfield is an amazing band. Seriously. Go buy and download their self-titled album on iTunes. Right. This. Second.
  
  
• Jas and I arrived safely 2 1/2 weeks ago here in Bothellopolis. Or Bothell. Whatever.
  
  
• I LOVE the new apartment! It's big and nice and like 3 minutes from I-405. I'm learning my way around the area decently well, so that's happy too :) Pics shall come when I have a wee bit more time :)
  
  
• We've been SUPER busy. We registered, which was REALLY fun, bought the stuff we need now that can't wait for the hopes of being a wedding gift, I've worked on all that comes with moving to a completely new place, etc. Not to mention that Jas is still working 85 or so hours a week. And I've been trying to keep things rolling with wedding planning. Yowza.
  
  
• We went camping for 2 1/2 days last weekend at Steamboat Rock. Despite reapplying SPF 45 about 6 times in 5 hours I still got a sunburn. LAME. But I then put on aloe vera like 5 times a day so no peeling, which is REALLY nice :) Once again, pics to come when I haves me a little time.
  
  
• I went to my first few Marier's games at Safeco. I. LOVE. IT. Jason and I are already plotting for how soon we can become season ticket holders! I am not kidding. We're pretty sure we're going to do like at least the 16 game pack next year or something. I love the Mariners. I really need to start praying everyday that we can re-sign Ichiro since he's becoming a free agent after this season. Oh, and I really love the Red Sox but we went to the first game in the series sweep and... well, Boston fans are really horribly obnoxious. Sort of tainted my love a little. I was torn between two loves, but the lameness of the vast majority of the Sox fans inspired me to REALLY cheer on the M's, and I'm sure glad I did because I am quite certain that my yells were what spurred the M's to victory.
  
  
• OOOOOOHHHHHHH! In my first four viewings of Seattle at bats at my first game, in which I got to see Ken Griffey, Jr, who was visiting with the Reds, play, I also saw my first grand salami! Seriously- three guys up to the plate and then on base, and then BOOM, grand slam out o' the park. It was SWEET! Oh, and Safeco calls home runs "funk blasts" and grand slams "funk slams" and they play, "We want the funk, gotta have that funk" every time someone (well, a Mariner) hits a home run and it's always stuck in my head now!! We saw quite a few home runs in our two outings thus far.
  
  
• I've been working on invitations, coordinating with bridal shower plans, and a wedding website. All of that info is to come :)
  
  
• I got a job! Starting tomorrow I'll be working at the Alderwood Water District doing reception/clerical work. Exactly what I want :) And it's a temp position through August 24, so I'll be able to take a few weeks off right when things kick into CRAZY for wedding stuffs. Plus, it's really close to the apartment (like a 15 minute drive, but only 7 miles) which is also lovely. And it pays pretty well. Then, I'll look for something a little better and more permanent after la wedding. Yay!
  
  
• Aight, I need to spend some time with the Lord, and then be off to Trader Joe's and Costco.
  

There's a meaning to the world

...we're giving love.
[Meaning, Gavin DeGraw]

All right, so it's been 87 years. Sorry about that. I've been BUSY. And then busier.

School ended last Friday. All weekend I worked on packing at my house, and saying good-byes. I tried to believe that this is actually my life, that school is ending and that who I have been for two years is segueing into someone else. From Mz. TK to Mrs. Hagglund. It's real, but still sure doesn't feel like it.

Jason is doing all of his pools in 3 days while still picking up a DDP shift tonight. That man is amazing. And all mine :)

He flies out tomorrow night on a red-eye from SeaTac to RDU (Raleigh-Durham). He should get to NC by 8:30 Thursday morning, eastern time. Then he'll go pick up the U-Haul, drive to my house, where I will be 100% packed and waiting. We'll load the truck, steal some time for kisses (you KNOW that's right!), and then go get my stuff from school. While there I'll tie up a few loose ends, hopefully pick up my bonus check, go to the bank, and then, in a wonderful world, hit the road by 4 pm.

From there, it's 16 hours and 978 miles to lovely Darla in the middle of a cornfield in Iowa. Yup- we're driving through the night. I prefer it that way. Less traffic, and I like the night :) We'll have my sexy iPod to keep us up on the sweet tunes, and likely his Nano is coming back east as well, so between us we'll be fine.

We should get in around 10 am Friday. We'll sleep for 6 or so hours, eat a delicious dinner made by my darling Darla, then hit the road again by 8:30 pm. Then it's 1,500 miles and 21 hours (that's without stops, PS) to the big Missoula, MT. We gain an hour again, but will probably get in around 9 or 10 at night on Saturday. We'll have to stop for gas, but beyond that I'm all about just GETTING there asap.

The plan is to spend Sunday with Jas' dad and stepmother, and possibly to see his brother, and then to hit the road again Monday. We gain another hour, but it's almost 500 miles and another 7 hours. We'll try to hit the road by like 7 am so we can get to the apartment, sign the papers, unload the truck, and try to just rest. Tuesday will be spent unpacking, figuring out what we need to purchase, etc, and then Jas gets back to work Wednesday.

So... yeah. You likely won't hear from us for about a week. Hopefully the next time you do it will be to hear that we are settling me into what will be our apartment when we get married!

Come together, right now, over me

[Come Together, The Beatles]

So... per the song in the headline, things are really starting to come together for Jas and me! Yesterday I got a crap-ton-o'-stuff from a friend in Raleigh (just so you west coasters know... it's pronounced rahl-ee (like... doll-eee, but Raleigh), not "rally". *shudders*

Anyway, I got a queen sized bed, a table and chairs, and night stands, plus random stuff from a little drawers-shelvy thing for a bathroom to a shower curtain, lamps to a matching toaster and coffee pot, and a rug to garbage cans. Lots of stuff. And it was all carried down from the third floor... FUN. Not. But good stand in for a workout.

Then, today Jas picked up a TV for us-- it's sweet! 32" flat screen! Happy day for me (well, us, but I care more about the electronics than he does, so... yah.)!! And we got it on craigslist so we paid well under half of the $500 it costs new. Yay!

I also started packing today- I got all school stuffs loaded into my car, and all of my stuff from upstairs down here to the basement, other than my food. My goal this week is to just get a few boxes a night done so I don't have those super-mega-stressful days at the end. I've always operated on the mega-stress time o' meter (that makes no sense, but bite me) but here's to trying the slowly-but-surely-less-stress way.

Oh, and Jason's living in an RV. It's actually a rather nice RV, so he's doing well for himself :)

So... that's us! Hope all is well with you, and I'll try to get a few pics of the minimally organized chaos that is my life right now up for y'all.

One more thing-- this is my last week of teaching! Nuts!!

Love can give a little more

[A Little More, Skillet]

I just wanted to mention that if anyone is in Washington and needs a photographer, particularly in the Eastern part of the state, our guy is AWESOME!

Go check him out here:

CG Photography

I wanna get wit' ya, and take yo' picture

[Baby Got Back, Sir Mix A Lot]

I want my wedding to be fun.

I know there's something to be said for the glorious and elegant wedding. Truly a lovely thing. But... I want mine to be FUN.

I want tea-length dresses (that's just below the knees for you boor-ish boys), cookies in jars, karaoke, laughter, happiness, joy... the whole wedding party is wearing flip flops. JCrew flip flops, nonetheless, but flip flops. BOO-YAH!!

I kind of hope the cake will fall over or something.

I'm not kidding. How funny would that be? Like, it goes crashing down, and then a terrified hush goes over the crowd and everyone looks at the bride (that would be me)... and I BUST OUT LAUGHING! Just BUST it! That would be so stinking funny. And people would remember the light happiness of the event.

I mean, I don't want it to be like sloppy and ghetto. But I want fun. I spoke with my roomies about this, and my friend Jill... I have a lot of guests who would likely be fairly offended by alcohol, and neither Jason nor I drink, so that's fine. But I'm thinking some karaoke is in order... we'll see. But I'm just throwing that all out there.

Thoughts?

Pictures!

Jason posted some pictures of his time with moi in NC in April. You can go check 'em out here:

Jason's Pics with Tam in NC

It's Jason's birthday!

Leave him some birthday lovin'!

It's also the day Mt. St. Helens blew her top in western WA. I personally think that this is because the world was getting warned that an incredible man who would change the world was about to be born :)

Don't worry, Jason would never say that! But I'm in love with him and I get to tell the world how great he is as much as I want to!

So... Jason's great! Leave some love!

PS The big cross country move is in a mere 27 days. Yesssss!!

There now, steady, Love; so few come and don't go...

... will you, won't you, be the one I'll always know?
[Look After You, The Fray]

I would just like to point out that I loved this song a full year ago. Or more.

I've been thinking about something a lot today. It's based on something my roommate Elise said... I live my life in the future. I mean, in regards to my relationship with Jason, for as much as we try to embrace today, so much of our focus is on our future.

June 14, when he gets here and we see each other again for the first time in almost 80 days. June 17, when I meet his family. June 18, when we move me into what will be our apartment. September 8, when I become his wife. December whatever-ith, when he takes the LSAT. God willing, the fall of '08, when he starts law school. I even eat for the future- I can eat that cupcake (I REALLY crave cupcakes lately) but it will take up residence on my hips and thighs and likely will still be calling those areas home when I'm trying to look beautiful for my wedding day. I work out so that I will look better later, or will have a healthier heart later, but not because in this moment it's what I want and need.

Granted, this isn't wrong. But it's fact. I am reminded that God tells me to concern myself with what He has for me today, because tomorrow has enough troubles of its own.

I want to get to that place where I exercise now, for today, because I want that rush of my blood coursing through my veins, muscles screaming, the exhilaration of endorphins releasing into my consciousness. I want to refuse to eat the cupcake- refuse to buy the cupcake, even, which I sure wasn't strong enough to do on Friday!- because today I want to eat for the glory of God, not for the gluttony of my taste buds. I want to talk to Jason daily and enjoy who he is right now, in this moment, and not because of how tangible he'll be when I'm in his arms in 32 days-- oh, you know we're counting. All things considered, and as contradictory to this post as it may seem, how could we not?

I know what this requires- settling in my mind, by faith, that God is God of every little moment. To live for this instant without concern for what may or may not come tomorrow or next week or next month or next year. And it's still not wrong to think about the future. It would be rather foolish to live without taking the consequences of today's choices and actions into account. I just want to embrace right now, now, and not regret the past and what has gone by.

So here's to today. In the meantime, I won't hesitate to glance at the beautiful ring on my finger and smile with the knowledge of the promise it holds.

Happy happy day!

Today Jason and I were accepted into our dream apartment building!! Yay! We move in on June 18, after our cross country trek from North Carolina to Washington. I'm including a pic of our floor plan; you can check out the details (because you either really, really care, or are really, really bored) here:

Apartment Details

If you scroll to the bottom of the page and click on the virtual tour the ones that say "bedroom", "living room", and "kitchen" are ones of our actual layout. Yay!

I'm so excited. Happy day :)

Here's the floor plan:

Just a little FYI-- so you all know, if you're wondering who a blog post is by, look at the end of the entry. It will say "From the heart of ____" and then it will either say Tam or Jason. We made this blog so we can each post to it. But some of you may be unsure as to who wrote each post, so this is the easy way to figure it out!

... and the two shall become one

In the book of Genesis, God tells Adam that man will leave his father and mother and join together with his wife and become one flesh. If you go to Bible Gateway and look up "become one flesh" there's a good smattering of results from both the old and new testaments. If you're interested you can look here.

This is actually relevant :) This weekend I was talking to a roommate who admitted that she had only just recently come to terms with the fact that just because my relationship doesn't look the way she would want hers to doesn't mean it's inherently wrong. It would be wrong for her, but since my relationship is actually exactly what I want it's perfectly ok to be right for me.

See, my roommate sincerely can't imagine a life in which she doesn't have a separate bank account from her husband, or in which she doesn't do at least a solid chunk of the driving when in the car. I, on the other hand, can't imagine not having the same bank account as my husband or ever being expected to drive (though my beloved has a questionable- at best- driving record).

Basically, she realized that we want very separate things. She doesn't want a relationship in which she blends into her husband and loses her independence and individuality. To her it's a major turn-off to be in a relationship in which she becomes one with her husband, and it made her rather uncomfortable to see me beginning to already have my identity blend with Jason's in such a way that I was melding into one with him. That, to her was extremely unsetttling because it simply isn't something she would ever want. But she finally realized that just because she doesn't want it, I do, and that I'm happy and would never desire what she wants.

This made me wonder- why do I want to have a marriage where I blend into one with my husband in so many ways? I can't imagine a marriage where I would be anything but completely operating as one unit in every applicable way (obviously there are areas where we still have separate lives, like certain friendships and such, but you get the point). Also, once Jas finishes law school and we're ready, I want to be a stay-at-home mom and raise a big family (we plan to adopt at least two, but we want six kids. We already know their names!). The roommate not only doesn't want that, but would most likely hate it and would never marry a man who would want her to stay home.

So, again, why do I want these things? I didn't even know people actually had marriages with separate checking accounts (and a joint house account, but still... to me, marriage is not "my money" and "your money"-- it's "our money". Jas actually once insinuated that soon enough I'll be spending all his money and he quickly learned that you just don't say that to the woman you plan to marry; at least, not if she's Tami Lee Keyser!). I realized that most of my closest friends are like-minded in this aspect, notably my three closest friends from college. But what led me to think this way? Is it my upbringing? My dad always drives, my parents share a checking account... so what is it?

Then I realized that in God's Word he tells a man to leave his mother and father and become one flesh with his wife. This doesn't just mean sexually- obviously the man wasn't sexually one with his mother and father premaritally. It means one heart, one mind, one goal. The same hopes and dreams. Like minded on issues of parenting, finances, ministry, and spiritual matters in general. One. That is, to me, truly the beauty of marriage. Obviously it is a process, to become one with another person after what will have been nearly 26 years of looking after only myself, but the best part is that it's not just two mere humans trying to force themselves into this awkward mess that is the ambiguous "one"-- we will have Jesus Christ knitting us together!

And, speaking of Jesus-- I love Him so much. I am in awe of who He is and all He has done. I'll give an entry on that soon enough! Suffice it to say, I love becoming one with Jason and I love that God has written it on my heart to do so, and that I know it is part of living according to God's Word to do so!

Feel the sunlight on my face...

... You have brought me to this place [You Led Me, BarlowGirl]

This will be short and sweet, but this is Jason's and my song. I would like to share the lyrics with you all; you can buy it on iTunes if you're interested, though, because it's absolutely beautiful! The lyrics are simple but poignant.

Enjoy :)

You Led Me
BarlowGirl, from the album BarlowGirl

Good Morning the night is over and gone

I thought once this dark would last for so long

Feel the sunlight on my face
You have brought me through this place

Jesus, Jesus You found me
Through the long night you led me
You set me free

Do you see just what You’ve done in my life?
You gave me more than I hoped for now I

Feel the sunlight on my face
You have brought me through this place

Jesus, Jesus You found me
Through the long night you led me
You set me free

Good Morning the night is over and gone
I thought once this dark would last for so long

Who Was I to Make You Wait?

Before we get too rowdy on this blog, I suppose it'd be appropriate for the measly third corner of this glorious love triangle to make some sort of an entrance! :)

I'm Jason, a man madly in love with Jesus Christ and a beautiful, amazing woman named Tami. While those things do define me, I'm sad to say there's something else that takes up the vast majority of my time: work. I have two jobs: one cleaning pools (and I'm on the cusp of my insanely busy summer season), the other delivering restaurant food. This currently keeps me away from roughly 6:30am until 10:30pm or later, and it will be this way all summer long. Now I'm overjoyed to be working this hard. It's how I was able to afford the ring my beloved deserves and the 3000-mile trip to hand deliver it to her, and it's primarily how we'll be able to afford our wedding...and while I'll most certainly back off after the wedding (if for no other reason, my lovely wife-to-be demands it), I will continue to hold on to both jobs for the forseeable future to help us obliterate the evil smelly debt gorilla and pay for my law studies starting in Fall 2008.

The point of that mess above? Don't expect frequent posting from me. I really wish it were otherwise, but I'd be a a liar if I promised to post here more than a few times a month. I'm going to try to set aside some time on Sundays to help Tami present our love story to our loved ones (and all those anonymous cyber-interlopers), and I think 2-3 posts a month is a feasible expectation. And trust me: the only blog posts I write are long, laborious works of art, so I venture to believe the reader won't ultimately feel ripped off.

For now, I'd like to offer a song, one that has truly branded itself into my heart and never fails to bring tears to my eyes (and sobs, depending on my level of self control at the moment). I must save the explanation for later, but it's the most relevant musical expression of my love for Christ and Tami that I know of, and only this could make me cry. If you want to hear the song, wish to avoid downloading it, and can't stand the radio, visit my MySpace.

"Far Away" by Nickelback

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

You offer Your uncommon love

[Uncommon Love, Melissa Tawlks]

Ok, you all deserve the "How We Met" story, right? Some of you know it, but I'm digging into my blog archives and doing a few little quick (relevant) edits so you all can get the low-down on the future Mr. Tami TK... :) The edits are mainly time related, or clarifying details, because it was written in mid-January.

It's a little long, so you might break it over a few lunches or something, but... ENJOY!!

***

Our story is simple. I love sports. I don't like Skip Bayless (sportswriter for ESPN) because he knocked on both my Seahawks AND my Ammo (Adam Morrison). One random day in July I decided to write an e-mail to Bill Simmons, ESPN's "Sports Guy", about why Bayless should be fired. But then I realized I wanted to back up the asinine things Bayless had written, so I went to find a little... ammo. I came across a blog in which someone was spouting similar feelings of dislike for ESPN's worst sportswriter. I was impressed with the writing, and then realized through a little blog perusal that this person went to Gonzaga, lived (essentially) in Seattle, and was a Christian. I clicked the link to his MySpace and sent him a message- basically, I pointed out that I loved his hatred of Skip Bayless, and that he seemed like a cool guy.

I was fresh out of my first real relationship, which had ended because the other guy just simply wasn't a nice guy. God used that relationship to teach me SO much about myself, but I simply assumed that I would never be with someone while I lived here in N0rth Car0lina. I figured I'd move home to Washington, though more to the Seattle area, and meet someone there... someday. I had zero interest in a romantic relationship. Once he wrote back, it was pretty clear between us that it would just be a random MySpace acquaintance- I know everyone says this when they're single, but we were seriously both in that place where we simply only wanted to pursue Christ and we just didn't want romance. And I HATE admitting that, because everyone always said, "When you stop looking, that's when you'll meet him"... GRRR! But they were right!

So anyway... we didn't want romance, period. But then... we just replied back and forth, slowly, and eventually chatted a little on IM. After about two weeks we had one really amazing conversation on IM... I was like, "He's a cool guy" afterward, but he tells me that he walked away from that convo knowing, clear as day, that he was already falling in love with me.

Along the way we kept really trying to ensure that we didn't allow our relationship to be anything more than friends, even when we knew deeper feelings were growing between us. Consistently we tightened boundaries, such as how often we could e-mail, both praying more and more diligently that we would stay in God's boundaries for us. We didn't even talk on the phone until about 3 months after we had met. We wanted to be uber careful and not cross any boundaries- we wanted to honor the other person the way we hoped someone would honor our future spouse, and treat one another with integrity in Christ. Then we realized that those lines were self-imposed, and not of God. We accepted that we were in some level of a relationship in November, and since then it grew deeper and deeper. In early January we said, "I love you". Or maybe mid-December... I'm sure he knows!! But by January it had become crystal clear to both of us that we are meant for one another, and that we're meant to marry.

I love him. I love that he wants to close our phone conversations in prayer, and often just randomly says, "Can we pray?" in the middle of one. I love that we are in complete harmony on things like doctrine, finances, life goals, health, etc. I love that he tells me daily about his quiet time and how God is speaking to him. I love that he consistently steps up as spiritual leader, though in some ways his nature would be to step back, and that he already is both able to tell me no and doesn't allow me to manipulate him. I love that I don't want to manipulate him! That I want to trust him and respect him and allow him to lead, all the while encouraging and exhorting him to be the man God made him to be. I love that he sees me as a precious treasure, and that he wants to spoil me and take care of me and protect me and respect me and that he feels like he will simply not be complete until he has made me his wife. *sigh* I am so blessed!

I could gush for years, but it boils down to this: I will marry this man, this wonderful man named Jason. We both know it's true, and any time we have a shred of doubt God confirms all the more that this is of Him. It's the most wonderful experience of my entire life! I feel ready to burst in every direction all at once! And yet I have a deep, calm peace to the center of my soul that Jason is the man I will spend the rest of my life loving and serving. I am honored to call him my own. I am honored to be his.

Enough of my gushing; here's something he said:

Tami...I don't know what it is about today that has taken my feelings for you to a level I never dreamed it would go. A week ago I was ready to marry you. Now I literally feel incomplete for not having done so already. What we have now is amazing, don't get me wrong. I bask in the glow of all our relationship has taught me, inspired me, shaped me, and enriched me. I live as a man happier than he's ever been and dream of the future like never before. But every moment I'm awake, my dear, especially when I ruminate on those dazzling eyes gazing at me, pouring your love past my physical shell directly into my heart, I feel a longing like never before. A feeling deep in my chest that ebbs and flows, but never dies. A pain not sharp, not stinging, but dull and lingering. Deep down I know that no matter how amazing of a man He may have made me to be, it is nothing without you. Without you I'd flail around this world, fecklessly in search of a love about which I know nothing, hurting myself and others along the way. Without you I'd never reach the center of His will, and my vain attempts to try would drive me to a misery so dark I shudder at its brief appearance in my thoughts. You are inseparable from His will for me. We were meant for one another. Our relationship isn't merely approved by Him, but ordained. I could not truly be a man after His heart apart from you.

***

So... comment at will :) You don't have to be a blogger member to comment, PS!

Take my hand now, we'll run forever...

... I'll stay with you [Stay With You, Goo Goo Dolls]

This blog is dedicated to the relationship of Jason and Tami :) We got engaged a week and a half ago! Here's the story from Tami's POV...

I knew Jas would be waiting for me when I got home but I wasn't sure where he'd be or how things would happen. I knew also that Jas wanted to propose almost the minute he saw me, so I was full of anticipation!

I got home, and called out for him... nothing. So I checked quickly upstairs, but nothing. I went downstairs to my room and found that he had placed some gifts on my bed (two DVD's- The Pursuit of Happyness and Stranger than Fiction, a baseball he caught at a Mariner's game, some cream for rubbing my feet, and... a CD of Weird Al Yankovic songs. Yup, true story.) But there was no Jason in my room. I looked in the closet, behind the door, in the shower in the bathroom, all throughout the basement, in the downstairs garage, and then outside... but then I realized that if he was outside on the deck and I saw him from down below that would ruin his mojo, so I went upstairs, looked outside on the deck, saw no Jason, and started to get annoyed! I looked EVERYWHERE. Ev. Ree. WHERE. Argh!

After some frustration and ten minutes of scouring my house, I finally went back to my room to see if somehow Jas had squeezed into a cabinet. And... alas, there he was, sitting in my desk chair! We embraced, and just enjoyed finally being in one another's presence after so many months apart (we last saw each other in January). After a while, Jason started telling me about how blessed he is to have been blessed by God in this amazing love story that the Lord has written.

The things he said were beautiful and wonderful and melted my heart... too bad I remember so few of them! It was so good that I started to wonder if he had written it and then memorized it-and just as that occurred to me he said, "I was going to write this down, but then I realized that I'm best with you when things just flow naturally, so this is coming straight from my heart." Well, those weren't the exact words, but that was certainly pretty close to what he said!

Then he said, "You got some presents from me already, but I brought you something else." Then he turned and got the ring box, got on one knee and... said really wonderful things about Christ being the center of our relationship, me being far beyond the woman of his dreams, and how he's been so blessed to have been a part of God writing our love story to this point, and he asked me to join him in allowing God to write our love story for the rest of our lives. Then he said something along the lines of if I'd grant him the immeasurable joy of becoming his wife (I might be making that up! I need him to help me out there!) and opened the ring box... I just stared at him and nodded my head.

I then of course, "Yes! I mean, I need to say it out loud! Yes, Jason, I'll marry you!". It was grand. And he of course laughed because all I could seem to do was nod my head and not give an actual answer :) It was so sweet and wonderful and... I love him! I can't wait to marry him!

So that's the engagement story. Later I'll tell you more about the rest of our week together, and for those uninformed, sooner or later there will be the "how we met and the rest of our story". But, for now, here's a link to see pictures of our week together!

Spring Break '07-- Jas and Tami!!